5 (Not So Typical) Lessons to Becoming a Pageant Pro

It has been a busy few months here in BV-land! I've helped organize a MAO local, watched Miss Universe, and have judged two pageants since our last blog...so you can bet that I have a lot to say! So I want to present: 5 (Not So Typical) Lessons to Becoming a Pageant Pro. This post is about you as a pageant 'professional', your behavior, your image, etc.

Let me start right off with the ever-popular disclaimer: I am not attacking anyone specific below and if you think you will be offended, click away. If you think you will learn something (or get a good laugh), read on!


1. Why do people think that 'pageant casual' means 'bare the booty' or 'wear the tightest and shortest thing I can find'?

Seriously? You are interviewing for the job of 'national titleholder' or 'state titleholder' or whatever. Be a role model. Have some respect for your body and the organization. I am by no means a prude, but I seriously do not need to see booty cheeks or wonder if you can breathe in that outfit choice.

Dress for the job you want, ladies! Stay classy and be a role model to the younger ones around you. They do indeed look up to you...and should not be able to look up your skirts or dresses with ease. Keep it classy!



2. Mind your face, language, and manners.

Just because you are in a pageant does NOT mean that people are to BOW DOWN to you during pageant week. Many of the personnel on-site are volunteers or are being paid to be there for a production, not for you to be rude to them or disrespect them.

Contestants/families being rude to sponsors? Excuse me?

Contestants/families being rude to theatre personnel? Come again?

The reality is that not everyone can walk away with the crown come finale, but you need to conduct yourself like the respectable young woman that was crowned. You still have a job to do as a local or state titleholder!

And please note, that although you may not say something nasty, your face and body language can say a thousand words! And just because you have a crown on does NOT mean that you can cut lines or not hold doors open for people...stay classy ladies.



3. Consistency wins!

I cannot preach this enough - you must be consistently strong in ALL phases of competition to win. How can you be consistent on stage so you present the same strong image to the judges? Here's just two ideas:

 - Practice: if you do not practice with your full hair and makeup and walk with your full fierceness in your competition clothing, things will not go as planned. I can pretty much guarantee it - proper preparation prevents poor performance! Make sure that when you are practicing, you do it full out, or who knows - hair will get stuck in your lip gloss during that full turn or you can trip in your turn and fall out. Oh and another thing, if you didn't practice the turn in the months before the pageant, please do not attempt it while at the pageant - you could trip, fall, and die. ;)

 - Figure out your message: what is your consistent message? Are you cool, fresh, independent, and whimsical in interview and then wear a straight, tight, black gown for evening wear? That's not consistent! You have to make sure the judges always recognize you and can identify you will a single, non-confusing message. Make their jobs easy: make them choose you!



4. Grow up and act like a professional.

Taking your qualms to a chat room or chat board is shady, low, and should be beneath you. To attack another contestant or an organization is not professional and personally, proves that you did not win for a reason.

If you have a qualm, question, or issue, be a professional and take it to the person in charge to find a mutually beneficial solution. We pageant people spend so much time talking about bullying and its negative effects on others and then we open the laptop and do the same thing we preach against! Grow up and be a professional.

If you did not win, there was a reason - do not automatically assume conspiracy. Ask for judges comments, review the tapes, etc and figure out how you can improve. Or get a coach or some professional and continue working on yourself - the time you spend on chat boards or gossiping is time that you are losing for personal preparations. Everyone gets angry, but take that anger and frustration and channel it into your preparations instead.



5. One judge does not crown you.

Many pageants include a way to avoid a judge tanking or pushing a specific girl. In the Miss America Organization, for example, auditors will drop the highest and the lowest score in each category. This is to avoid one specific judge purposely trying to make a contestant win or lose.

Let me dig deeper: to attack a judge after the pageant and say that he or she tanked your daughter purposely for whatever reason is technically not possible. The reason there is more than one judge in a pageant is so multiple people can score you...multiple people would have to score you high for you to win and multiple people would have to score you low for you to not win. One judge cannot affect the entire outcome. 

This would be an entirely different post if I talked about what incident inspired me to say this, but you DO NOT approach a judge after a pageant. You act like a professional and ask for comments and scores from the director in a professional manner. And then, you DO NOT take to your facebook and attack a judge - you can ask for clarification on the comments. Judges write comments very quickly to HELP you. They do not have time to write millions of words, but at least they took the time to write a few words of suggestions or comments. This means that they wrote quickly - to take offense to a quick comment (of someone who was trying to be helpful) is silly. If you received NO comments, you would have NO feedback. Be appreciative for heavens sake - if you need clarification, ask politely for it. I do not understand why people think that being behind a computer makes you stronger or more capable. OR why being behind a computer makes it right to bully or insult someone. Grow up and ask for clarification; you cannot judge THEM for something they wrote in 3 seconds with the intent to help you. The judges never want to hurt you! Trust that!

Overall, conduct yourself like a professional. You never know who is networked or connected with whom - you can hurt yourself TREMENDOUSLY with your social media posts, approaching people etc. You never know who knows whom...are you intentionally trying to blacklist yourself? Oy vey.

Winning Hearts and Minds of the Judges

Communication comes in both words and deeds, and the latter are often the most powerful form. Nothing undermines you more than behavior that is inconsistent with your words.

More specifically, you can capture the hearts and minds of your judges when what you say is consistent with what you are doing. For example, do you often mention how much community service means to you...but cannot give a real story about your most recent community service project or event? Do you say you love animals but have never visited a shelter or clinic? You must be consistent with your words and deeds to win the hearts and minds of the judges and to convince them that you are a real girl who lives with her values in mind.

Consider formatting your paperwork to reflect the things that are most important to you. Then go back and make sure you have at least one story or specific detail/experience you can match up with that thing. If you cannot connect the material on your resume to an actual story or experience, you will seem like you just put it in your paperwork to look good. Don't be the girl who can't explain herself or convince the judges that she was actually there doing something.

If you cannot communicate it quickly and connect it to material in your paperwork, it needs to go. To help you win the hearts and minds of the judges, and ultimately the crown, you must not only KNOW your material, but you must also LIVE your material. Judges do not like 'Hypothetical Hillary'...they want to see 'Active Alice'! 

Step Forward and Be Seen!

"I am inviting you to step forward, be seen, and ask yourself, if not me, who? If not now, when?"

Do you know where this quote is from? Emma Watson recently said this at the UN conference for Women. She has been appointed as the Goodwill Ambassador for Women.

Why should you care? Let me break this down.

The United Nations is a meeting place, of sorts, for countries to come together and discuss important issues. Things like war, the world economy, trade, nuclear weapons etc are all discussed here among the nations. One thing discussed, but not really highlighted, is that of Women's Rights. Emma Watson hopes to change this...you know her as "Hermonie" from Harry Potter.

Emma recently a gave speech. In very, very basic terms she says that women should be treated as men are. She is working for gender equality. She's saying that women should be paid the same amount of money as men are for the same jobs. Women should not be limited because they are girls. Women should not be assumed to less because they can give birth. 

Why does this matter to you? Well, if you're a girl competing in a pageant, you will likely be asked about women's rights. Or about 'role models'. Or about 'girls being less than boys', etc etc. You need to know what is going on in the world. But in general, if you are a girl, you should realize that all girls are not treated equally around the world. You may be more qualified than a man at a job, but you will be paid less. You may be the best to lead a team or a country, but you are looked at as less...because you are a girl. You should feel free to be strong and be your best self...you should feel free to be a more complete and true version of yourself. And I cannot turn a blind eye to what she says about her dad and boys being seen as "weak" for showing feelings and emotions...gender equality is the issue at hand here.

And if you're a girl considering pageants and platforms...this is a great example of a platform and a girl having real passion for a cause. I encourage you to watch the video and see Emma's true passion. Look at her speech and notice and her smile, her pace when speaking, her genuine connection to the topic, and how she makes everyone (men and women) connect to what she is saying. She gives statistics and stories...she gives life to this topic and makes everyone listen. She commands the room. Could you do the same about your platform or passion?

I encourage you to view the video and comment below. Do you agree with Emma? How do you feel? Be honest, tell me what you think!

6 Secrets to Preparing in the 'Off Season'

So you're heading back to school and thinking that this means that pageants are officially on hold. You'll be busy with classwork, homework, extracurriculars and more, so your pageant preparations will have to wait until winter break or spring break, right? WRONG!

If you've read my blog before, you know that I firmly believe in constantly preparing for a pageant - there is no down time. While you are "resting" for 25 weeks, your competition is preparing.

Want to know the secrets to preparing in your 'off season'? Read on:

1. Seize all leadership opportunities, no matter how small.
Create a "let me take that on" attitude! Volunteer for that event. Run for student government. Step outside of your box and take every opportunity that comes your way. Your leadership opportunities need not be month long projects, because you have your studies to attend to, of course. But at school and at your extracurriculars you have limitless possibilities and with these, you can thrive in your leadership potential and develop the true persona of a titleholder!

How this will help: A titleholder will be a leader in her community. She will meet with officials, volunteer with various organizations, speak on behalf of groups, and much more. Use your time in school to practice being an excellent leader and role model to others. Develop those public speaking skills, organization skills, people skills and more.


2. Find role models. 
Look for people who have the roles you want and study how they act, communicate, dress, and more. Pick someone at 'the next level' and try to emulate that person, while staying true to your self, of course. I'm not asking you to change who you are, but I am encouraging you to grow and be your personal best. It may also be useful to find some anti-role models - what do you dislike about them? What can you strive NOT to be or NOT to do?

How this will help: by figuring out the qualities you want to emulate and striving to achieve them, you will be able to hold yourself at a higher standard. You will also be able to talk about your best qualities easily in interview and describe the type of titleholder you will be. Use your time in school to build the best YOU possible!


3. Develop your friendship skills.
If you're going to be a titleholder, you have to have people skills! You have to be able to maintain friendships in the face of disagreements, you have to listen to the opinions of others and give yours, and much more. It is your friends that can help you develop integrity, empathy, clear speaking, charisma, strong boundaries, and strong beliefs.

How this will help: Your friends can be your greatest supporters! Maybe they can help you organize that clothing drive you have been dreaming of or that anti-bullying club. And of course, these are fabulous things for your pageant resume...but also for your college resumes, job interviews, and more! Use your time in school to develop the (necessary) people skills and teamwork skills of a true titleholder.


4. Speak up! Ask questions!
If you have a question in class, ask it. If you have to give a presentation, do it. Learn to value yourself and your voice. Refuse to be passive and instead, project confidence.

How this will help: In some cases, your interview judges may push you. Maybe they want to test how much you believe something or if you are being honest. You may need to express yourself in a strong way - practicing this skill in school will get you there! Use your time in school to rehearse projecting confidence in difficult situations!


5. Develop a plan.
In everything you do, make a plan. When you have a big test coming up, plan study times. When you have a big game coming up, plan practice times. When you have that special recital coming up, plan rehearsal times. By planning and organizing your busy schedule, you will be able to balance being a titleholder with great ease.

How this will help: As a titleholder, you will need to balance a busy schedule...especially if you plan to be a good one. Use your time in school to practice the time management skills required to really excel as a titleholder and in your future career, as well!


6. Refuse to be lazy.
Get your act together! It does not matter if you are in a 'little girl pageant' or a 'big girl pageant', fitness is of the utmost importance. As you're reading your textbook, jog on the treadmill. As you're rehearsing your lines for the play, do some bicep curls. Wake up each morning and challenge yourself to ten pushups...then 15 next week...and 20 the following week. Focus on living a healthy lifestyle, from your diet to your exercise. You spend HOURS shopping for that gown, HOURS volunteering and more...but how much do you invest in yourself? Invest in your personal fitness level to demonstrate to the judges how committed you are to being the very best YOU!

How this will help: As a titleholder, you are a role model. You will also be balancing a busy schedule of being a spokesperson for your pageant system, being an excellent student, a fabulous daughter and more. Living a life of fitness will help you approach these activities with great vigor and get the most out of your year - who wants to be sick 4x during their reign because of their weak immune system? Not me! You can also use your 'off season' to avoid 'gym cramming' later...think about swimsuit season OR your pageant swimsuit competition - instead of rushing a fitness plan and spending 7x/week in the gym because your pageant is two months away, you can spend 3x/week in the gym because you used your off season well. Be wise and refuse to be lazy.


Just because you are 'back in school' or in your 'off season' does not mean that your pageant preparation has to end completely. You can still prepare by actively working on the skills needed to win your pageant, be an excellent titleholder, and an even better young woman. <3

Stepping out of your shell with pageants

Whether you have been in pageants for over a decade, like myself, or are just getting started, pageantry can help you evolve into an entirely different person. A more improved version of yourself, personally. Through competing, judging, and coaching, I have watched countless young women transform from "Wallflowers" to "Social Butterflies"...but it did not happen over night. Their transformation came from a lot of hard work! Here's my 3 step plan to help you step out of your shell and into the (pageant) spotlight:

1. Public Speaking
Nothing can prepare you for that on-stage question or personal introduction like speaking in public. Yes, you should be focused on your judges, but who can completely forget the audience of 200+ that is staring right at them? Think about the interview room too...

Public speaking is a nightmare for many people, but it is an exceptionally important part of being involved in pageants. Should you win, you will be the ambassador for that program all year long. You will be required to do appearances, speak at events, meet people, build partnerships and make connections etc. You will never escape public speaking, so continuously practice doing it - put yourself in public speaking situations as often as possible so you can grow and develop.

Ideas:

• Run for student government positions
• Visit a classroom/youth organization and host an activity
• Meet public officials and chat with them
• Give speeches (class projects etc)

Challenge:

Make videos and watch them. Many of us have laptops with cameras or cell phones with cameras now. Tape yourself giving your personal introduction or a mini-speech and watch yourself grow over the videos - you can increase your confidence this way (and correct things you don't like too)!

2.  Volunteering
Talk about interview practice...and great interview material! This is where you can learn excellent life + interview skills because of the variety of people you will meeting and engaging with. I remember my first major volunteer job was with the Maryland Science Center. I got to meet people from all around the world, with different clothing preferences, who spoke different languages, who had different customs and more. Won't your judges be varied? Won't they have different backgrounds and understandings? Won't you need to communicate openly and freely with them? And when I worked the guest services desk, I learned how to handle (random, and sometimes weird) questions with ease, poise, and grace. I also learned a lot about my various strengths and weaknesses.

Ideas:

• Volunteer with a local organization that means something to you (i.e. library for someone with a reading platform)
• Take notes on everything you did that day and review it often (these skills can be brought up on your resume OR during the interview to sell you as a great candidate)
• Start your search online at volunteermatch.org OR visit the websites of your favorite organizations 

3. Expand your horizons

When was the last time you tried something new? Out of the box? For example, a (very petite) BV girl recently tried out for her track team - she didn't even own running shoes - but she made the team! That experience helped her come out of her shell even more; she developed her muscles, yes, but she also learned something new about herself, gained leadership opportunities and skills, and more! Trying new things will challenge you, just like competing will. Trying new things will show you what you are capable of, just like competing will. 

Also, when was the last time you read a book? No, seriously, a book. Reading expands your mind, develops your vocabulary, and allows you to use your imagination and explore parts of yourself you may have never dreamed of exploring. What about an educational book - like Public Speaking for Dummies...? Seriously! What an amazing 100+ pages of tips and ideas! You can try these out! OR if you're more into fiction, pick up a great book and act a scene out in your room (yes, you can lock the door). Challenge yourself to explore those hidden parts of yourself and come out of your shell because after all, you will want to present your most confident and best self at the pageant!

Lessons Learned From Watching Miss USA 2014

Disclaimer: The comments below are not meant to offend anyone or "to start a fire", but instead, the comments below are things that I noticed that I thought my reader base could honestly learn from.

1. Smile and look like you want to be there.

If I have said this once, I have said it a million times: smile and look like you want to be there! So many other girls wanted to be in your shoes. So many girls wanted to rock that stage and have the opportunity that you have in front of you. There is no reason to ‘half smile’ on stage or look like you could care less. Bring your personality and bring your fun attitude, otherwise…it is going to be a long ride home, without that crown.

2. Appreciate the show.

You never know how long your pageant will run. Many directors estimate a time the show will end, but things happen and you need to be prepared. I say this because you never know when you will be on camera - I rather you be that girl clapping along to the performer on stage after 3 hours on stage than the girl caught cleaning her teeth with her tongue because she didn’t expect to be ‘watched’ or ‘featured’.

3. Wearing white does not guarantee a win.

Ok, those who wore white looked good. I get it. But at the end of the day, we don’t ALL look great in white. You need to wear what you look best in and you need to rock that color and cut, whatever they may be. You need to rock that color and cut like it was made for you and you just melted into it, not like your director forced you to wear it. Own it or don’t wear it!

4. Healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.

More than ever this year, we watched amazing women of all shapes and sizes command that stage. However, there was still a common factor = FITNESS. What is FIT for one person may be different for another. What is HEALTHY for one may be different for another. Let me speak some truth though, you cannot go up there looking like you have never seen a gym. Aim for muscle tone and aim for healthy. You must be your PERSONAL best.

Please also note: if you are not bringing your own swimsuit to compete in (i.e. the pageant has a sponsor and you choose the swimsuit when you get there), your body MUST be prepared to fit whatever cut is thrown at you. You must be your personal best upon pageant arrival day and do small workouts in your room to maintain it.

5. Practice your routine.

For heavens sake, hair in your gloss? If you practiced that turn with that hair style and practiced it ‘full out’, that would not have happened. Dress rehearsals are your best friend. Make sure you practice every swing, flick, twist, and step before making it to that pageant then work it. Do NOT change your routine once you see someone else’s - what you practiced for 16 weeks will always look better than what you practiced for 16 hours.

6. Speak with purpose.

Practice your interview skills, yes, but also practice speaking ‘off the cuff’. When we speak, we tend to use filler words where we need to fill and when we are nervous, we will ‘fill’ even more. Practice speaking off the cuff and INCLUDE specific information and relate it back to you. No one else can have the specifics you have so why not say it? You can feature yourself in the best light by speaking honestly and telling the judges more about yourself! And really, no one knows YOU better than YOU, so why not speak on the one fabulous subject YOU know best?

7. Put your arms down! 

Seriously, your arms should never be the main attraction - you should be. Your garment should be. Again, YOU should be! When walking on stage, put your arms down. And YES, keep them down - do NOT touch your dress, pick it up, etc. You should have got it altered to practically dance in it, so be prepared! Put those arms down and let yourself be the main attraction - arms are for poses, not for walking - when was the last time you saw someone holding their arms up and holding a dress at a major fashion show for a major designer? Never. And for heavens sake, hold the smallest part of your waist - like where your last rib is - and NO lower and NO higher. Highlight the smallest part of your body, not your waist, not your thigh etc. Holding too low will kill your posture and too high makes you look stiff.

8. Focus.

If someone is asking you a question, FOCUS and answer the real question at hand. Your answer should not just be a repetition of the question - you MUST answer it. Honestly, breathe as you hear the question and breathe right after - let your brain absorb the question for a second, get your thoughts together, and then speak. And yes, you should always have a wrap up to your question and the wrap is NOT "so...yeah". Also, if the Top 5/15/20 etc is being called, look focused! Never be caught off guard if the camera swings to show you. Focus!

Look Like a Titleholder Without Breaking the Bank

Ladies, we need to dress for the job we want, not the job we have. This means that you need to look like the state or national titleholder at events, rehearsals, etc when at a pageant. Start dressing the part and acting like the professional titleholder you will be!

Here are 6 tips to looking like a titleholder without breaking the bank:

1. Invest in a classic wardrobe that you can get a lot of wear out of.
You do not have to spend a million dollars to look like a million dollars. Invest in a great blazer or great dress and wear it to different events. Who cares if you wore it before? At least you look amazing in it.

2. Tailor everything!
Find a good seamstress or tailor and fix that hem in your favorite pants or gown. Make it look like the clothes were created just for you! When things fit better, you feel better, and you will wear them more.

3. Accessories can make or break you.
If you think you have too many accessories on, you do. Ease up on the accessories and do one key statement necklace or earrings. You do not need to overdo it because you are the main attraction, not that 10 inch necklace taking over your body. Go for a simple set of post earrings if you can and let your outfit do the talking. If you must include a necklace OR bracelet, choose wisely and let it compliment you, not be the main attraction.

Money saving tip: But don't forget that you can repeat your simple accessories - choose classic pieces that will go with many outfits vs. one outfit. Those rhinestone post earrings or faux-pearl posts will go a long way!

4. Wear heels.
They even make 'little girl heels' so there really is no excuse for flats in the interview room. Have you ever seen your national titleholder interviewing or representing her title in flats? Probably not. It is an image thing...and a posture thing! Be age appropriate though - little girls should be in no more than 2" heels and junior teens and up can get away with 3"- 4" heels. Oh, and when in question, always choose a round toe over a pointy toe.

Money saving tip: go neutral with your heels and classic. You don't need a different shoe for every outfit you have. Pageant "rules" dictate that a simple pair of round toe + closed toe taupe heels goes with pretty much everything. You can always have a simple pair of black round toe + closed toe heels too. That's it, two pairs...this is will save you from packing an entire suitcase just for shoes too!

IF you really hate heels for during the day at the pageant, go for power flats. Nothing boring. You are making a statement from head to toe!

5. Get enough sleep!
This one sounds funny, but you will save money on energy drinks, eye de-puff creams etc by getting enough sleep. I know that I myself do not need a boat load of sleep, but I know I look better when I am well-rested. Plus, enough sleep helps you get ready to tackle the day - you have a different energy when well-rested and who wouldn't want to look energized and charismatic while around the competition!?

6. Be aware of your style choices.
Just like a brand of coffee has become a style statement, so can your personal style. Make sure your style AND the style of those surrounding you during pageant weekend is consistent with the image you want to portray to the judges. There is no reason that people in your party/entourage should be in their PJs, have rollers in their hair, etc at an event/outside of their hotel room because YOU would never look this way. Your personal style is who you are - be consistent with the image you are portraying so there is no question about who they are crowning.



BONUS TIPS (added 1.21.16):

• Do not forget about facebook resale groups! You can sometimes find great deals in these groups! 
• If the price is too good to be true, it is probably not an authentic dress. AVOID such sites. Even if you are trying to save money, find another seller - the poor stitching will not be worth it!