Stepping out of your shell with pageants

Whether you have been in pageants for over a decade, like myself, or are just getting started, pageantry can help you evolve into an entirely different person. A more improved version of yourself, personally. Through competing, judging, and coaching, I have watched countless young women transform from "Wallflowers" to "Social Butterflies"...but it did not happen over night. Their transformation came from a lot of hard work! Here's my 3 step plan to help you step out of your shell and into the (pageant) spotlight:

1. Public Speaking
Nothing can prepare you for that on-stage question or personal introduction like speaking in public. Yes, you should be focused on your judges, but who can completely forget the audience of 200+ that is staring right at them? Think about the interview room too...

Public speaking is a nightmare for many people, but it is an exceptionally important part of being involved in pageants. Should you win, you will be the ambassador for that program all year long. You will be required to do appearances, speak at events, meet people, build partnerships and make connections etc. You will never escape public speaking, so continuously practice doing it - put yourself in public speaking situations as often as possible so you can grow and develop.

Ideas:

• Run for student government positions
• Visit a classroom/youth organization and host an activity
• Meet public officials and chat with them
• Give speeches (class projects etc)

Challenge:

Make videos and watch them. Many of us have laptops with cameras or cell phones with cameras now. Tape yourself giving your personal introduction or a mini-speech and watch yourself grow over the videos - you can increase your confidence this way (and correct things you don't like too)!

2.  Volunteering
Talk about interview practice...and great interview material! This is where you can learn excellent life + interview skills because of the variety of people you will meeting and engaging with. I remember my first major volunteer job was with the Maryland Science Center. I got to meet people from all around the world, with different clothing preferences, who spoke different languages, who had different customs and more. Won't your judges be varied? Won't they have different backgrounds and understandings? Won't you need to communicate openly and freely with them? And when I worked the guest services desk, I learned how to handle (random, and sometimes weird) questions with ease, poise, and grace. I also learned a lot about my various strengths and weaknesses.

Ideas:

• Volunteer with a local organization that means something to you (i.e. library for someone with a reading platform)
• Take notes on everything you did that day and review it often (these skills can be brought up on your resume OR during the interview to sell you as a great candidate)
• Start your search online at volunteermatch.org OR visit the websites of your favorite organizations 

3. Expand your horizons

When was the last time you tried something new? Out of the box? For example, a (very petite) BV girl recently tried out for her track team - she didn't even own running shoes - but she made the team! That experience helped her come out of her shell even more; she developed her muscles, yes, but she also learned something new about herself, gained leadership opportunities and skills, and more! Trying new things will challenge you, just like competing will. Trying new things will show you what you are capable of, just like competing will. 

Also, when was the last time you read a book? No, seriously, a book. Reading expands your mind, develops your vocabulary, and allows you to use your imagination and explore parts of yourself you may have never dreamed of exploring. What about an educational book - like Public Speaking for Dummies...? Seriously! What an amazing 100+ pages of tips and ideas! You can try these out! OR if you're more into fiction, pick up a great book and act a scene out in your room (yes, you can lock the door). Challenge yourself to explore those hidden parts of yourself and come out of your shell because after all, you will want to present your most confident and best self at the pageant!

Lessons Learned From Watching Miss USA 2014

Disclaimer: The comments below are not meant to offend anyone or "to start a fire", but instead, the comments below are things that I noticed that I thought my reader base could honestly learn from.

1. Smile and look like you want to be there.

If I have said this once, I have said it a million times: smile and look like you want to be there! So many other girls wanted to be in your shoes. So many girls wanted to rock that stage and have the opportunity that you have in front of you. There is no reason to ‘half smile’ on stage or look like you could care less. Bring your personality and bring your fun attitude, otherwise…it is going to be a long ride home, without that crown.

2. Appreciate the show.

You never know how long your pageant will run. Many directors estimate a time the show will end, but things happen and you need to be prepared. I say this because you never know when you will be on camera - I rather you be that girl clapping along to the performer on stage after 3 hours on stage than the girl caught cleaning her teeth with her tongue because she didn’t expect to be ‘watched’ or ‘featured’.

3. Wearing white does not guarantee a win.

Ok, those who wore white looked good. I get it. But at the end of the day, we don’t ALL look great in white. You need to wear what you look best in and you need to rock that color and cut, whatever they may be. You need to rock that color and cut like it was made for you and you just melted into it, not like your director forced you to wear it. Own it or don’t wear it!

4. Healthy comes in all shapes and sizes.

More than ever this year, we watched amazing women of all shapes and sizes command that stage. However, there was still a common factor = FITNESS. What is FIT for one person may be different for another. What is HEALTHY for one may be different for another. Let me speak some truth though, you cannot go up there looking like you have never seen a gym. Aim for muscle tone and aim for healthy. You must be your PERSONAL best.

Please also note: if you are not bringing your own swimsuit to compete in (i.e. the pageant has a sponsor and you choose the swimsuit when you get there), your body MUST be prepared to fit whatever cut is thrown at you. You must be your personal best upon pageant arrival day and do small workouts in your room to maintain it.

5. Practice your routine.

For heavens sake, hair in your gloss? If you practiced that turn with that hair style and practiced it ‘full out’, that would not have happened. Dress rehearsals are your best friend. Make sure you practice every swing, flick, twist, and step before making it to that pageant then work it. Do NOT change your routine once you see someone else’s - what you practiced for 16 weeks will always look better than what you practiced for 16 hours.

6. Speak with purpose.

Practice your interview skills, yes, but also practice speaking ‘off the cuff’. When we speak, we tend to use filler words where we need to fill and when we are nervous, we will ‘fill’ even more. Practice speaking off the cuff and INCLUDE specific information and relate it back to you. No one else can have the specifics you have so why not say it? You can feature yourself in the best light by speaking honestly and telling the judges more about yourself! And really, no one knows YOU better than YOU, so why not speak on the one fabulous subject YOU know best?

7. Put your arms down! 

Seriously, your arms should never be the main attraction - you should be. Your garment should be. Again, YOU should be! When walking on stage, put your arms down. And YES, keep them down - do NOT touch your dress, pick it up, etc. You should have got it altered to practically dance in it, so be prepared! Put those arms down and let yourself be the main attraction - arms are for poses, not for walking - when was the last time you saw someone holding their arms up and holding a dress at a major fashion show for a major designer? Never. And for heavens sake, hold the smallest part of your waist - like where your last rib is - and NO lower and NO higher. Highlight the smallest part of your body, not your waist, not your thigh etc. Holding too low will kill your posture and too high makes you look stiff.

8. Focus.

If someone is asking you a question, FOCUS and answer the real question at hand. Your answer should not just be a repetition of the question - you MUST answer it. Honestly, breathe as you hear the question and breathe right after - let your brain absorb the question for a second, get your thoughts together, and then speak. And yes, you should always have a wrap up to your question and the wrap is NOT "so...yeah". Also, if the Top 5/15/20 etc is being called, look focused! Never be caught off guard if the camera swings to show you. Focus!

Look Like a Titleholder Without Breaking the Bank

Ladies, we need to dress for the job we want, not the job we have. This means that you need to look like the state or national titleholder at events, rehearsals, etc when at a pageant. Start dressing the part and acting like the professional titleholder you will be!

Here are 6 tips to looking like a titleholder without breaking the bank:

1. Invest in a classic wardrobe that you can get a lot of wear out of.
You do not have to spend a million dollars to look like a million dollars. Invest in a great blazer or great dress and wear it to different events. Who cares if you wore it before? At least you look amazing in it.

2. Tailor everything!
Find a good seamstress or tailor and fix that hem in your favorite pants or gown. Make it look like the clothes were created just for you! When things fit better, you feel better, and you will wear them more.

3. Accessories can make or break you.
If you think you have too many accessories on, you do. Ease up on the accessories and do one key statement necklace or earrings. You do not need to overdo it because you are the main attraction, not that 10 inch necklace taking over your body. Go for a simple set of post earrings if you can and let your outfit do the talking. If you must include a necklace OR bracelet, choose wisely and let it compliment you, not be the main attraction.

Money saving tip: But don't forget that you can repeat your simple accessories - choose classic pieces that will go with many outfits vs. one outfit. Those rhinestone post earrings or faux-pearl posts will go a long way!

4. Wear heels.
They even make 'little girl heels' so there really is no excuse for flats in the interview room. Have you ever seen your national titleholder interviewing or representing her title in flats? Probably not. It is an image thing...and a posture thing! Be age appropriate though - little girls should be in no more than 2" heels and junior teens and up can get away with 3"- 4" heels. Oh, and when in question, always choose a round toe over a pointy toe.

Money saving tip: go neutral with your heels and classic. You don't need a different shoe for every outfit you have. Pageant "rules" dictate that a simple pair of round toe + closed toe taupe heels goes with pretty much everything. You can always have a simple pair of black round toe + closed toe heels too. That's it, two pairs...this is will save you from packing an entire suitcase just for shoes too!

IF you really hate heels for during the day at the pageant, go for power flats. Nothing boring. You are making a statement from head to toe!

5. Get enough sleep!
This one sounds funny, but you will save money on energy drinks, eye de-puff creams etc by getting enough sleep. I know that I myself do not need a boat load of sleep, but I know I look better when I am well-rested. Plus, enough sleep helps you get ready to tackle the day - you have a different energy when well-rested and who wouldn't want to look energized and charismatic while around the competition!?

6. Be aware of your style choices.
Just like a brand of coffee has become a style statement, so can your personal style. Make sure your style AND the style of those surrounding you during pageant weekend is consistent with the image you want to portray to the judges. There is no reason that people in your party/entourage should be in their PJs, have rollers in their hair, etc at an event/outside of their hotel room because YOU would never look this way. Your personal style is who you are - be consistent with the image you are portraying so there is no question about who they are crowning.



BONUS TIPS (added 1.21.16):

• Do not forget about facebook resale groups! You can sometimes find great deals in these groups! 
• If the price is too good to be true, it is probably not an authentic dress. AVOID such sites. Even if you are trying to save money, find another seller - the poor stitching will not be worth it! 

What to Wear for Pageant Photos

Your pageant headshot is exceptionally important - this is how the judges will recognize you! You must look like your headshot and if there is a program book, there is no excuse for you to not have a headshot in the program book.

Some pageants say that 'school photos are fine' and yes, while that is 'fine', you want to stand out at your pageant. You want to be the clear stand out and your pageant photo can help with that. Here are a few suggestions (we turn to Miss America level headshots as our example):

1.  Fabrics and Necklines
Choose silky fabrics over cotton - you want the images to be fresh, not give a worn look like cotton might.

Also, when selecting attire for different shots, look for different necklines in each shot. Do not shoot 5 shots in a round collar - what if you end up realizing (after the shoot) that you do not look best in a round collar? It is better to be safe than sorry and plan ahead by bringing varied necklines to the shoot.

2. Colors
Solid colors are a best, always. Stay away from patterns, prints, logos, etc that could be distracting in the photo - nothing should take away from you!

Bright colors are better than light colors - they will do more for your complexion and skin tone.

3. Hairstyles
Style your hair based on your image. Consistency wins - you cannot be all glammed up in the photo with an up-do then walk into interview portraying a "little girl" image. Which are you? Decide on your consistent image and you can nail this component of the photo.

4. Body parts
A headshot is just that, a shot of your head. Think of a good headshot as bust and up. Hands underneath the chin, 3/4 of your  body etc change the shot. If you ate doing a headshot, let it be a headshot. If it is a full body shot, let it be a full body shot.

5. Jewelry
Jewelry should compliment you, not be the star of the photo. I highly suggest a good pair of attractive earrings for each outfit. Necklaces can be tricky, but if done right, then can help the photo pop.

Notice the attractive jewelry in Miss Florida's headshot.

6. Background
Plain color backgrounds are standard because you do not want the background to distract from you. Some photographers do their shots outside etc but do not forget that you want the focus to be on you. That tree in the background etc could become the star of your photo...

Do not let other objects be the star of your photo or distract from you!

7. Posing
This not the time for your perfect posture or head position. If your face is straight on to the camera, it will look like you took a mugshot for jail! That's why your school photographers always ask you to 'lower your chin' or 'tilt your head just a bit more' - things look different on camera! Practice your head tilts and different poses before heading into your shoot - and NO, the 'pretty feet' pose is NOT an acceptable pose. Have some fun and loosen up!

Notice the small tilt in Mallory's head

This is from a Red Carpet event! 

Notice how the lack of a head tilt makes this look like Mr. Costner's mugshot!

And PLEASE, make sure that you have ALL of your body parts in your pose! A photographer cannot add an arm etc once the photo is taken...

Notice the missing arm...?

8. Photoshop
You are not a plastic doll. You are a natural, real human being and your photo should reflect that. Do not go bonkers on the photoshopping! Remember, the photo should always look like you on that stage - judges should be able to recognize you instantaneously after looking at your photo. Unless you are in a glitz pageant that calls for such photos, photos should look like you. Minor photoshopping is allowed, but don't overdo it!

How to choose the right competition gown

One of the key components to any pageant is the evening gown/formal wear. If you're competing in a modern day pageant, like NAM/IJM/USA Ambassador/USA/MAO/International/MAC etc, the rules for gowns tend to be about the same:

• Length: Floor length gowns are best. One or two of the pageants say that you do not necessarily need a 'floor length gown' to win, but when was the last time you saw a cocktail dress win a national pageant? My point exactly. 
• Rule of thumb: a quarter inch off of the ground is long enough. Seriously, have someone get down on the ground and assess this - can we see your shoes when you walk? If so, the dress is too short.
• Some pageants do NOT allow trains on gowns. If they do, rule of thumb is 16-22 inches.
• Preteens and younger should avoid trains at all costs.
• Notice: the designer does NOT include a train in the younger girl dress design.
  
• Age-Appropriateness: did you know that you could be docked points (lose points) if the gown is not age-appropriate? 
• Pre-teens and younger should have straps - spaghetti or halter are ok (make sure straps are wide enough)
• Junior teens and older do not necessarily need straps, but they are welcome
• Preteens and younger should NOT have tight, form-fitting, mermaid/trumpet style gowns
• Junior teens and older can have form-fitting styles (many junior teens are still in ballgowns, check the trend within your system)
• Pre-teens and younger should not expose their chest at all (avoid nude illusion as well)
• Junior teens and older can have more of a sweetheart neckline, exposing a bit of the chest area
• Nude illusion fabric is an entirely different fabric - this will depend on the pageant system and style of the gown.
• Color: choose a color that best reflects your personality and overall sense of style. For example, red is much more bold than baby pink. Your gown should reflect who you are, not who you are trying to be. 
• Glitz/Rhinestones: do not overdo it with the rhinestones/bling. You want to be the main attraction in your gown, not the rhinestones.
• Jewelry: 
• Pre-teens and under are most safe with post style earrings (again, check the trend within your system to be sure)
• Example: 
  
• Junior teens and older can wear dangle earrings
• Example: 
  

If you are unsure of your gown choice, you should be able to check with your pageant coach. Let me be honest and say that the staff in the bridal stores or pageant stores are not necessarily the best help because they do not know YOU personally - remember, this is your personal presentation in formal wear. The gown should reflect the best you and you should feel that you are at your personal best while in the gown. And, hopefully, your pageant coach has had experience competing in various pageant systems and can help you chose what that system is looking for as well. 

And I am always available to advise you! Send me a text message or an email before you go shopping so I know you are headed out and then send me pics as you try things on. I want to help you make the best choices!

With your success in mind,

Victory and Team BV

Lessons learned from The Oscars!

It has been a few days since The Oscars were televised, but I cannot seem to shake some of things I saw on the show that were clearly 'pageant lessons'! I wanted to share those with you today...these are my TOP FOUR LESSONS LEARNED FROM THE OSCARS:

1. Always say 'thank you' so we know when you are done.
Some people gave great speeches on stage and we were completely mesmerized with them and then they just paused and walked away. This is just like when you are doing your on-stage (speaking) presentations at a pageant - say 'thank you' so the judges know you are done. Otherwise, there is just that awkward moment of 'um...is that it? Ok, yes, I think that's it."

2. Make sure you gowns are the correct length.
For heavens sake, visit a seamstress and make sure your gown is the right length. There is no excuse for having to hold up your gown on stage. In this particular case, maybe her gown was borrowed, but seriously, if you are competing, visit a seamstress and try your dress on (with your heels on) and have it altered. Walk around in it and really test if you could practically float on stage when walking. If not, it needs to be hemmed. Gowns are designed for models that are 5'7" and taller...the gown was not made precisely for you, but you can make it look like it was.

3. Enjoy the show entertainment.
Many pageants provide entertainment of some sort - singers, dancers, etc - even while contestants are on-stage. In some pageants, someone may sing directly to you. I encourage you to not be the girl who ignores the entertainer - enjoy that person! At the Oscars, Jennifer Lawrence (on live television) refused to participate in Pharrell Williams' "Happy" performance, whereas Lupita + Meryl + Amy just jumped up and joined in for the sake of the show. Don't be rude and don't let the performer feel like you don't like them. And yes, the judges are still watching.

4. "No matter where you are from, your dreams are valid".
Yes, Lupita hit the nail on the head with this one. Never forget why you are competing in the pageant - never forget who you are, where you come from, and where you plan to go. It is this authenticity that will take you farther than any crown, sash, and title will. And yes, it helps when the girl crowned is a 'real girl'.

Try a NEW one!

Hi ladies!

You know I am always encouraging you to try new pageants and stay in the loop, so...I highly encourage you to try these "new" programs. I am hoping to send more and more BV girls each year to these! These are excellent, growing programs and I know some of the directors personally...they are committed to putting on fantastic programs!

If you register for any of these, let them know that Victory from Be Victorious Prep sent you!

DISCLAIMER: Please note that I am NOT ranking these pageants by any means...it just pains me when girls stick to the same pageants every year. Few girls expand their reach - if you don't grow, you'll never know what is out there! NOTE that I also make comparisons of the pageants below - I only do this so people who have tried the 'popular systems' can understand what their experience MAY be like. I do not intend to say one system is like or not like another, I just want to be clear on why I like each system and why I feel confident you could do well in this system.

American Nation Pageants

Run by the FIRST NAM National Teen titleholder, Sasha Hills - love her and her family!

http://www.americannationpageants.com/2014-preliminaries/judging-criteria/

Program has been around for ten years plus...there will be a Mid-Atlantic pageant on May 10 in Chantilly, VA. This is a GREAT opportunity to try fitness and on-stage question...Sasha is a media person, so this is a great experience. Program is also held in other states...something to consider!

PURE American Pageants

Run in MD/DE/VA by Stephanie Green and the mom of a current national titleholder. PURE has been around for years, but this is their first pageant in the Mid-Atlantic. Spoke with the state director and she would compare it to NAM in style...Fab up and coming national program. 

Mid-Atlantic pageant will be held Apr 5 & 6 in Ocean City MD.

http://www.pureamericanpageants.com/information_at_a_glance.html

America's US Miss

Love this national director and love that she is bringing their nationals to Florida/East Coast this year! NAM-like in my opinion, looking for APPOINTED TITLES from our area. Program is growing everyday, titles everywhere really. LOVE!

If you are interested in representing your state at their NATIONALS (July 16-20 in Clearwater FL), they would love to have you! Totally NAM + IJM like, love!

http://americasusmiss.com/index.php

USA National Miss

I'm really pushing this one now...totally in LOVE with this program and BV is sending a group of girls this year with APPOINTED titles. 

Totally NAM + IJM like, love...there is a 40 foot runway involved too! FUN!

http://usanationalmiss.com/

DISCLAIMER: Please note that I am NOT ranking these pageants by any means...it just pains me when girls stick to the same pageants every year. Few girls expand their reach - if you don't grow, you'll never know what is out there! NOTE that I also make comparisons of the pageants below - I only do this so people who have tried the 'popular systems' can understand what their experience MAY be like. I do not intend to say one system is like or not like another, I just want to be clear on why I like each system and why I feel confident you could do well in this system.